By God Brothers and former ‘disciples’ of ISKCON Gurus:
All glories to the Maha-Mega ISKCON Itsgone Super-Acarya system, which cleanses ISKCON temples of all unwanted God brothers of the self and GBC appointed Gurus, along with their repeated ‘complaints, gripes, and envious serving mood ’. This Maha-Mega-Super ISKCON-Acarya system is the prime benediction for all humanity at large because it spreads the imprint of the imposter GBC/Guru benediction rubber-stamp. It is the life of all sentimental knowledge, for it increases the ocean of unlimited post 1977 disciples, and enables them to taste what they think is the nectar for which they are always anxious.
O my Lord, my Gurupuja alone can render all benediction upon the living beings, thus creating millions of innocent, but confused ‘disciples’ with names like, Krsna Dāsa, and Govinda Dāsa, etc. They are proof that I am invested with all Your transcendental potencies. I am so merciful that although for myself I have no hard and fast devotional rules to follow, just to make a show, I insist that all these ‘disciples’ follow them strictly. O my Lord, it is very easy for these misled disciples to approach me for Gurupuja and give me Daksine, but my non Guru God brothers are so unfortunate that they have no attraction for doing the same.
I tell everyone, both my envious non Guru God brothers and my ‘disciples’ to chant my holy name in a humble state of mind. After all, they are lower than the straw in the street. Regarding my outrageous behavior in Bangkok, I explain that they should be more tolerant than a tree and devoid of my sense of false Guru prestige. They should expect no respect for themselves but should always be ready to offer all respect to me in a moment. Only in such a humble state of mind, can they constantly chant my artificial “Pada”, “Deva” and “Guru Maharaj” names.
O Almighty Lord, I have a strong desire like my many other ISKCON ‘Guru’ competitors to accumulate wealth, but unlike them who are after beautiful women, men and children disciples, I am particularly fond of Bangkok prostitutes. I also have a strong desire to have unlimited numbers of followers. I am always burning to hear absurd praises of myself on my yearly lavish ‘Vyasa Puja ‘ festivals, while starving the rest of my non Guru God brothers and ‘disciples’. This way I have brought my spiritual master’s society to the brink of bankruptcy. Yet my lord You are so merciful that You let me have all of these things by engaging me in Your shady and shadow like devotional service, birth after birth.
O beautiful new young bhaktin/bhakta/cute gurukuli/regular prostitute, wherever you are, you are my eternal servitor. Yet somehow or other you have fallen into this ocean of repeated birth and death. Please let me pick you up from this ocean of birth and death, and by having your sweet voices on my next bhajan tape/CD, i can calm my sexual scandals with you. Thus together with my other ‘ISKCON Guru’ competitors, we can all continue in the illusion that we are your Diksa and Siksa ‘Gurus’ birth after birth.
O my Lord, when will my wrist be decorated with a Rolex watch, and when will Guru daksine for fulfilling my every whim, including buying the longest lasting condoms flow constantly? When will my envious non-Guru God brothers’ voices choke up while everyone of my ‘disciples’ hairs stand on end at the recitation of my mentally concocted ‘Gurudeva’ and ‘Acaryadeva’ names?
O my Lord, because of my busy secret flight schedules to Bangkok, and my other ‘ISKCON Guru’ competitors always engaged in covering up their respective 8,400,000 species of sexual scandal behaviour, some of our ‘disciples’ have never seen us for twelve seconds or more. Feeling our separation, tears are flowing from their eyes like torrents of rain, unlike our crocodile tears, and they are feeling all vacant in our absence.
O my numerous gullible disciples, you will have no one but me as your Guru, and I shall remain so, even if I handle you roughly by my outrageous Bangkok Red like District behavior, or make you broken-hearted by hardly taking the time to instruct you for advancing in Krsna consciousness. I am completely free to do anything and everything–regardless of what my envious non -Guru God brothers and spiritually intelligent ‘disciples’ may say–for I am a full fledged Maha-Mega ISKCON Itsgone-Super-Acarya, unconditionally.